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My mother was devastated when I told her that Jack* and I were getting a divorce. Then he can file for divorce and you're having to ask your parents for a loan to give an attorney a retainer. When you get groceries, get cash back and tuck it away. (Stash the ready money there.) Yes, the money in there is a joint asset, but it can't be withdrawn by anyone but you. Go paperless- you don't need statements sent to the house, do you? Use it, pay it off every month (see: checking account) and then you'll be a step ahead of the game should anything happen. Make an inventory of all of your and your husband's financial accounts.

Here are a few things you should do, to keep it from happening to you. Have 'ready money.' If you don't work, and all of your money is held in joint accounts, your husband can strip them bare without your knowledge or permission. Get a checking account in your own name at a bank different than you already have.

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My ex-husband always picked a time when I was insanely busy to tell me I had to sign it and I'd flip through and sign next to the yellow arrow post it note. All of this sounds reactionary and distrustful, and it is.

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